“I am writing to you from a very lonely prison cell,” he wrote. “Three days ago I lost my mother to cancer. I was thinking about ending my life… but when I found your name and address in a used newspaper I felt as if this was the answer to my cry for help.”
Deeply touched, I put the letter down. I felt genuine empathy for Jack in this, his time of grief and loneliness. It was mid November when received the letter arrived.
He went on to write, “I do hope you are the kind of people my mom always spoke so highly of. Share my name at church, in hopes of me receiving a special holiday wish. I would love to have at least one Christmas card…my mom’s card would have been the only one I received.”
As I continued to be drawn into Jack’s loneliness I read further. “It breaks my heart to know that while other men will be opening up their many Christmas greeting cards and opening up their J. C. Penny Prison catalog order, I’ll be left standing all alone. Mom could never afford a Christmas package, so that won’t hurt so bad, but to be able to have a nice Christmas card and fellowship with the people my mom always believed in would surely put a big smile on this sad face.”
Stirred to action, I wasted no time. I e-mailed my family and friends a copy of Jack’s letter asking them to send him a Christmas greeting. Then I contacted an associate pastor at my church and asked him to have the adult Bible fellowship classes collect signatures and greetings from the members.
I felt good. Affirmed. Prison ministry is important I reminded myself. There are thousands of men and women in prison today who are looking for friendship. Many of these prisoners feel like social outcasts. They are isolated from family and friends. Prisoners love to receive mail.
It is usually difficult and often impossible for prisoners to find friendship among the prison population. Many inmates have registered for pen pals on Internet sites. Yahoo lists about 30,000 and Google has over 35,000 sites listed. One site alone registered one million visits in the year 2001.
Prison Fellowship Ministries have a Pen Pal Program that matches convicts to Christian volunteers. This is a prison pen pal site for inmates in need of a caring friend.
This site and others like it attempt to bring friendship and hope to lonely prisoners. The programs try to help ease the loneliness of the incarcerated. I have read that ninety percent of inmates lose all contact with family and friends after 3 years. They soon feel loss of dignity, self-worth and self-respect. A letter or a card from a pen pal can lift their spirits.
Jack’s letters continued to come. He told me of the excitement of receiving some cards and letters in response to my becoming his friend. He shared how delighted he was to receive the Bible and some Bible lessons I had sent. Near the end of one of his letters I became disturbed. Jack wrote, “My feet are old and I don’t own a coat. These are cold winters in the Cumberland Mountains. They tell me up here to get a pair of Timberland boots.” Jack went on give specific information on the cost of the boots and detailed money order instructions.
My niece, Jenny, had written to Jack. “I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I just lost my Dad one month ago so I think I know at least some of the sorrow you are feeling.” The reason for my concern about Jack’s request was not the cold winter in the Cumberland Mountains, but the sense that I had been used in furthering a “con game”. Jenny’s letter included the same request as I did for “Timberland Boots, number 31052 C, Size 9, tan, and a warm coat with a hood, number 94271B”.
I later learned that a family from the church had received the request as well. I felt both annoyed and betrayed. I was embarrassed that I had been taken in. I had been conned by a con…or had I?
When you become a prison pen pal it is important that you be alert to known scams. You should be aware that institutions provide all the basic needs of an inmate. Even educational programs are often free to prisoners. If an inmate is requesting a donation for something that seems unusual, contact the prison administration before sending money.
Many people would never consider writing to a prisoner. If you do find someone you would like to write to, don’t hesitate. Most are honest about what they are looking for; however, use good judgment and common sense, just as you would with anyone on the outside. The majority of inmates is lonely and desperately need a new friend. Most look forward to be transitioned back into a productive life after prison. Your friendship can be a positive influence.
When I didn’t respond to Jack’s request, he stopped writing. I had learned a good lesson, early. I have since corresponded with many individual prisoners. My experience has been good. I trust that I have been a help and encouragement to these convicts. However, I often think of Jack and wonder if he ever bought the Timberland boots and the warm winter coat with the hood, for the cold walks in the yard behind the walls of Cumberland prison, in the state of Maryland.
